Parenting, dating, changes all at once

Being a parent is the hardest thing you will do!  There really should be a handbook for it.  Cody has struggled with behaviors for a while now, we have been in counseling for about a year and he has come so far.  Over the last week or so he has started to have some set backs.  Part of it is him and part of it is our over sensitized schools (but that's another story).  He has been getting angry quicker than normal and not controlling his reactions (leading to kicking another student and putting them in a headlock).  He has also been really emotional lately crying at the drop of a hat.  I try talking to him, but he just shuts down.  He has been asking a lot recently about when he is going to get a dad.  It breaks my heart to hear him ask this question because I don't have an answer for him.  I think he feels lost without a dad and he feels like he isn't complete.  It feels like my fault, however I know it isn't.  I made the choice I made to leave his father because I had to!  For my own sanity and for Cody's well being as a baby and later on in life.  The emotional turmoil that was being caused and the games that were played was not a good environment for a child to be raised in.  I know I am doing the best that I can and giving him opportunities that he will appreciate later on in life, but that doesn't make the now any easier.  I wish I could ease his pain and help heal his heart.
On a similar note, but not directly related, I have started dating again!  First time I have dated in over two years.  Its been both fun and nerve wracking.  I am still trying to figure out what I want (one day its one thing and the next day its another).  I have decided that I will continue to go out on dates and not start anything serious at the moment.  If I happen to find someone that I can connect with then I may run with that, but at the moment I am jumping into the pond feet first and going to see what is out there.
I have continued on my journey of changes and self love.  So far so good.  I did have a little set back over the last 1.5 weeks when I woke up one day and could barely move my neck.  I am officially on the mend and got my first real workout in this morning and it felt amazing!!  As for the self love portion, I have continued to focus on choosing love over fear, it is not always easy, but the more I do it the easier it gets.  There is way too much negativity out there right now so I have been trying to unplug for an hour a night to help reset my mind.  My confidence has grown immensely and I can now look in the mirror and love the person looking back at me!  I am taking things one day at a time, its not always sunshine and roses, but when it is I like to take advantage and enjoy as much of it as I can!