Personality

Every living thing is full of personality, it is what makes us unique.  I have really been struggling and trying to dig deep lately.  I have felt my depression creeping back in and I definitely do not like it.  I have let my impulse control go and have made some not the best decisions, but I am lucky enough to have some awesome friends who have called me out and put me in my place!  Thank you for that.


I have started the PIYO program today and am really going to focus on nutrition and start teaching Cody about it.  I pulled up Popeye the Sailor Man today and had him watch some of that on YouTube so he can learn the benefits of Spinach. :)


One of my biggest struggles recently is feeling like something is missing.  I have so much to be thankful for in my life, but for some reason I still feel empty, like something is missing, incomplete.  I feel the need to travel, it makes me wonder... was I a Gypsy in a former life?  Or is it fate and destiny telling me that it is time to be somewhere so that something can happen?


Do you believe in Fate or Destiny?  What were you in a former life?  Do you ever feel like you were meant for more?

I am loving this new ME!

I have been on a soul searching, healthy living journey over the last year... it has been a long and rough ride to say the least.  However within the last month I have really learned what it feels like to love yourself.  I used to have such an awful image of me in my mind and I am happy to say that image has blossomed into something amazing.


I know now what my worth is and I am freaking priceless!  I am pretty amazing and super awesome.  I don't say those words with emptiness anymore!  I believe them because I know they are true!  I am 100% authentically me and I love me which is all that matters.  We will always find people in this world that we do not click with and that is okay.  We are all different and sometimes people don't connect.  However just because you do not connect with someone doesn't mean you shouldn't still treat them with kindness.


The kinder you are to others the higher you vibrate with the universe and trust me you want to be on high vibrations, that's when the universe starts to give back to you.  Good things happen to those who are in tune with themselves and their surroundings, send positive vibes and that is what you will receive.  It will not happen overnight, it will take time to build it up, but in the end it will be worth it.


Love yourself for who you are because you are amazing!  Make this life what you want it to be!

Friends and Relationships

Over the last two weeks I have been really tested with friendships and relationships.  I have learned a lot about who I am and what matters most to me and the type of people I need/want in my life.  I have decided that I need people who will be real with me, but also supportive, loving, and caring. 
I am going to start making some changes and some people may be surprised by them although I'm not sure why of they really look at what has happened. Anyway it is time for me to really buckle down and think about what I want!! I'm setting my sites on it and going to get it!! It's time for me to put me first and make myself happy.

Own Your Own Happiness

I used to depend on other people for my happiness.  I often found myself unhappy.  When things didn't go as planned I would freak out and get upset.  I have learned over the years that the only person you can truly count on is you.  You have the control to make your own happiness.  If things don't go as planned then do something else, what is the point in sitting around and stewing about it. 


I feel like this last year in my 20's has really brought on some serious insight about myself.  I am getting to know me all over again and I love it!  I had plans that I was really looking forward to the other night, the other person backed out and didn't bother to let me know... was I upset?  You betcha, but then I really sat and thought about it and decided that I wasn't going to let that ruin my night.  Instead I spent some time enjoying my own company and watching a movie and relaxing, something I don't get much time to do anymore.


I talked with some friends and really enjoyed my night, was it what I was expecting? no, but did I have a good time anyway? Yes!


My challenge to you is next time you find yourself upset or angry because of what someone else did, choose to be happy and make your own happiness!  You won't regret it.

Finding Love

Most who know me know that I have been through the wringer when it comes to love and relationships.  Growing up I didn't always have the best relationship with some family and as I got older I found myself in quite a few unhealthy relationships.  When I was in high school I was an attention seeker.  Any male who gave me attention I was "in love" with.  I would basically do anything that they said as long I got the attention that I craved.  I began sleeping around to deal with my family issues and to continue getting the attention that I wanted/needed. 
I have since grown up, but not easily.  I had to go through some rough patches to get to where I am now.  I was in a relationship with my sons father for almost 3.5 years. It was a long and drawn out relationship that should have ended a lot sooner than it did.  He was extremely abusive, not physically, but mentally and emotionally.  He manipulated me every chance he could.  Out of our 3.5 years he was in jail for a total of 1 year (at 2 separate times).  Although I was miserable and depressed almost the entire time I did get some good things out of those years.  I met some of my best friends that I still have to this day and I got my amazing son, Cody. 
I decided after what I went through that I was just going to focus on being a mom and finishing school.  So that is what I did for the next 3 years.
Then I decided I was going to get a summer job at Silverwood.  I told myself that I was just there to work and that I wasn't going to become all buddy buddy with anyone or date anyone.  Ha-ha!  That didn't last long.  I met this guy name Michael.  We started flirting and it eventually turned into a relationship.  It was perfect to me.  He treated me well, yes not perfect, but much better than I had been treated in the past.  We moved in together and has our own little family.  It was perfect... or at least it would have been if we didn't have to ever interact with the outside world ha-ha.  We lasted almost 2.5 years and were engaged at one point, but things slowly unraveled and we unfortunately couldn't put it back together.  He found another girl, closer to his age, and moved out.  I was left broken into pieces, I had become so comfortable and so dependent on him.  I wasn't really sure how I was going to move on or that I wanted to.  I harbored a lot of angry feelings for a long time.   I eventually got over it and moved on.  I focused on myself and living life to the fullest.  I joined beachbody and am working on getting into shape and getting healthy.  I want to teach my son how to be healthy.  I also became a coach and gained an amazing group of friends that I am so thankful for.  They motivate and encourage me every single day.
Recently I have started dating again.  I actually feel comfortable in my own skin, which is amazing!  I am supposed to have a date with a guy this week that I really am starting to like.  Wish me luck!

Accomplishing things already

So I haven't written in a bit due to buying my first home!  That's right I have completed one of the goals on my list already!  I am so proud of myself.  When I was younger I set a goal to buy my first home by the time I was 30 and I was able to accomplish that at 29!  I am so in love with my new home, my backyard is like my own personal oasis.  I was also able to refinance my car and save myself over $100 a month!  Things are really looking up and it just goes to show that if you work hard enough it will pay off. 
We are getting settled into our new home and slowly trying to build a routine for ourselves.  I am almost finished getting things into place and then I can start setting up my office and workout room.  I am planning on starting my first round of the 21 day fix on Tuesday July 5th.  I am hoping to yield similar results to what I did last time.  I love this program so much because it is only 3 weeks.  I tend to struggle with the others because they are 60 days and I have a hard time sticking with it for that long, I tend to get bored.  I am hoping that if I switch it and do a different program each time I will be able to complete them all!
The feeling of achieving your goals is so amazing and just makes you want to fight for more goals!


I will leave you with this quote from my new book I am reading.


"Whatever you can do, or dream you can begin it.  Boldness has genius, power and magic in it."
-Goethe