My Whole 30 Journey

So at the beginning of February I committed to do the Whole 30 after I saw what an amazing impact it had on a friends life.  I knew that I was heading down a steep path back to being miserable and uncontrollably depressed and I didn't want that for me or Cody.  I got the book It starts with Food and read that during the month.  On February 27, 2017 we started the Whole 30.  I was really nervous about the cost and about my will power.  I started by cleaning out all of the things that were not compliant they went in a cupboard on a high shelf and were out of sight and therefore out of mind.  I then searched Pinterest and ask in my amazing Food Freedom facebook group about food to purchase and favorites and where to shop.  The first two weeks were the hardest for shopping, we spent a lot of time reading labels and grocery trips were definitely longer than normal.  By the third and 4th weeks I felt like a "pro" and could make it in and out of the grocery store much quicker than before I started the whole 30!   I saved all my receipts so I could break down the cost for me in the end.  Over the 30 days I spent $500 on food.  That made it $16.67 per day, which lead to $2.78 per person per meal.   When I saw the $500 I almost had a hear attack, but when I broke it down I realized that I had spent much less on eating this month than I had Ever spent prior.  The main reason for that was A.  I wasn't spending unnecessary amounts of money on eating out or eating at Fast Food and B.  I was more conscious of what I was buying and meal planning ahead of time. \
Prior to starting the whole 30  I was in a constant tired state, I had chronic headaches, my bursitis was flaring up like no other, I had zero energy, and I felt like I was in a brain fog all the time (almost like walking around in a daze); I was not present in the moment at all.  These were some of the reasons that I decided to start the whole 30.  I knew I needed to change my diet in order to change my state of mind and how my body was feeling.  I decided to have Cody try it too.  The reason for this was that he was a sugar junkie, like the kid would eat a whole box of donuts if I let him or have his meals consist of cake and cookies or candy.  I didn't want that for him and I wanted to instill him with some good eating habits.  He has also struggled with behavior which I have talked about in previous posts and I am a firm believer that a proper diet can help with that as well.
I journaled almost everyday so that I could keep track of the changes and of how I was feeling.  Although I did not take before and after pics I did do weight and measurements for us both, but those were just side effects, not the reason we did it.  I will share all of that later on.  The first couple of days we started off strong.  We were both determined to do this and our will power was amazing.  I was ready to feel the changes.  after about 5 days the excitement was starting to wear off.  We were both super crabby and short tempered (not a fun time to be in our house hahaha).  Cody got really emotional, which I expected, but it lasted until around day 16 or 17, so much longer than I expected.   The first week or so I was extremely tired and did feel hungry in between meals from time to time.  Listening to these ques from my body helped me realize that I was not eating enough healthy fats and so I adjusted accordingly.  My sugar cravings and bad habits, hitting the vending machine after lunch for some cookies, were both very strong in the beginning.  I stayed the course and did not give into the free food at work either and those feelings eventually started dissipating around the end of week 2!
One struggle that I battled throughout the 30 days was getting Cody to eat.  Now don't get me wrong the kid definitely ate, however there were days when he would say he was full and done, when I know he was hungry.  However he didn't want to try the veggies that were made or didn't like what was made so he would just lie about being full.  This was an on going battle, it did get better towards the end though.  By day 8 I started to wake up on time or before my alarm clock with no problems.  I was sleeping through the night without waking up and I was falling asleep almost as soon as I went to lay down.  It was such an amazing change and a nice feeling.  To wake up actually feeling refreshed rather than like I hadn't slept at all was what I needed.  After that I started having more energy throughout the day, my brain fog was starting to disappear and my headaches were going away!  Cody's behavior still wasn't where I wanted it to be, however I was getting less calls home from the school for behavior issues so that was a win in my book. 
By say 20 I was starting to get tired of cooking all the time and all the dishes that came with it.  I was also starting to notice some changes in how my clothes were fitting and my temper.  I was able to stay more even tempered even when provoked or upset, A lot of that I feel like had to do with the clearer mind, I was able to stop and think before reacting.  By day 25 I felt like I was able to actually start being present in the moment and enjoying the smaller and finer things in the world.  Cody's behavior had improved more and more with each passing day.  It still wasn't perfect but was much better.  The last weekend of the Whole 30 we took a trip to Kelowna, B.C.  Which was a 5 hour drive.  we stayed for the weekend and enjoyed the last hockey tournament of the season.  I was so nervous about the trip, but due to some excellent planning and thinking out of the box we did just fine.  I made and packed all our food for the weekend and we just used the microwave in the room as needed.  we were able to stay on track and save money this way.  We stayed on course all weekend, the hardest part was the 5 hour drive home.  We did go out on that Sunday, but made sure that what we ordered was Whole 30 compliant. 
We wrapped up the first 30 days on 03/28/2017.  I learned a lot about how the food we put into our bodies effects our everyday behavior and how we feel.  The most important part of this journey for me was that I learned that I CAN do it.  If I set my mind to it and stick to my guns, no matter how difficult it may seem, it can be done.  I realized how much control food and sugar had over my life and I am not willing to give either of them any control over my life every again.  Cody has started the reintroduction process, I am staying the course as I really didn't miss anything I cut out.  I have tried a couple things here and there that I know were psychological triggers for me to make sure that my will power can withstand them now.  The side effects that I have gotten from the few things I have tried are definitely not worth the 5 seconds of that "it tastes so good" feeling.  A couple of the things have had sugar in them and its like I get a headache like no only 30 minutes later, I don't want that constant feeling anymore, it reassures that I do not want sugar at all to be involved in my life.  My mindset about food has evolved.  I no longer eat it because it tastes good, I look at food now and think "how is this going to fuel my body?" 
This journey has been quite the ride and I am no where near done with it!  If you are struggling or want to learn about your body and how food effects it I definitely recommend the book "it starts with food".   If you are on the fence about the whole 30 here is your push, just do it!  If I can do it and if Cody can do it, then YOU CAN DO IT!!! 
Now for what most have been waiting for.... Cody lost 14lbs and 5 inches total between chest, waist, and hips.  I lost 15lbs and 8 inches total between chest, waist, and hips.  I was also able to fit into a pair of jeans that I hadn't been able to wear in almost 5 years!  It was one of the best feelings ever.  I am so proud of our success and will forever be grateful to Cindy for sharing her journey, struggles, and successes.  Without her encouragement and seeing her story I probably would not have done this!  The knowledge that I have gained and the change in my outlook on life is priceless!

Parenting, dating, changes all at once

Being a parent is the hardest thing you will do!  There really should be a handbook for it.  Cody has struggled with behaviors for a while now, we have been in counseling for about a year and he has come so far.  Over the last week or so he has started to have some set backs.  Part of it is him and part of it is our over sensitized schools (but that's another story).  He has been getting angry quicker than normal and not controlling his reactions (leading to kicking another student and putting them in a headlock).  He has also been really emotional lately crying at the drop of a hat.  I try talking to him, but he just shuts down.  He has been asking a lot recently about when he is going to get a dad.  It breaks my heart to hear him ask this question because I don't have an answer for him.  I think he feels lost without a dad and he feels like he isn't complete.  It feels like my fault, however I know it isn't.  I made the choice I made to leave his father because I had to!  For my own sanity and for Cody's well being as a baby and later on in life.  The emotional turmoil that was being caused and the games that were played was not a good environment for a child to be raised in.  I know I am doing the best that I can and giving him opportunities that he will appreciate later on in life, but that doesn't make the now any easier.  I wish I could ease his pain and help heal his heart.
On a similar note, but not directly related, I have started dating again!  First time I have dated in over two years.  Its been both fun and nerve wracking.  I am still trying to figure out what I want (one day its one thing and the next day its another).  I have decided that I will continue to go out on dates and not start anything serious at the moment.  If I happen to find someone that I can connect with then I may run with that, but at the moment I am jumping into the pond feet first and going to see what is out there.
I have continued on my journey of changes and self love.  So far so good.  I did have a little set back over the last 1.5 weeks when I woke up one day and could barely move my neck.  I am officially on the mend and got my first real workout in this morning and it felt amazing!!  As for the self love portion, I have continued to focus on choosing love over fear, it is not always easy, but the more I do it the easier it gets.  There is way too much negativity out there right now so I have been trying to unplug for an hour a night to help reset my mind.  My confidence has grown immensely and I can now look in the mirror and love the person looking back at me!  I am taking things one day at a time, its not always sunshine and roses, but when it is I like to take advantage and enjoy as much of it as I can!