Dreams and connections within

Recently I have been having some weird dreams.  I have been dreaming about one of my former lovers.  We had a connection unlike any other that I have ever had.  It ended when he moved away to another state, but out connection was still strong.  Recently he has been in my dreams almost every night and it has been years since we have seen or spoke to one another. Each night it is a different scene but he is always there with me and we are working through some issue or battle together.  I wake up every morning so sad that I don't have him here with me.  He truly was "the one that got away".  Today I woke up feeling like I am mourning for someones death.  It is the weirdest feeling, like my heart legitimately hurts.
I don't know if something is wrong with him and this is why I have been dreaming of him or what is going on.  It is really strange to me that out of no where he starts appearing in my dreams.  The only other reason I could think of is that I am starting to possible date again, but I have dated people since him and I were together so I'm not sure why now and not then too.   Although I enjoy getting to spend time with him in my dreams because I do miss him still even after all these years I am hoping that this feeling of dread and that something awful has happened goes away.


Anyone else have any experiences like this?

Introduction

I've decided I need an outlet.  I have so much going on in my head all the time I really just need to get it out so I am going to write it all down. Who knows maybe my babble can help someone some day.  Just a little about me.  I am 28 years old and a single mom.  I have a 6 year old boy who keeps me very busy.  He is in all kinds of sports, soccer, baseball, hockey, football, etc. So I am constantly on the go with not much time for myself.  Almost 6 years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar, anxiety, depression, and borderline personality disorder.  Its been a rough time trying to deal with all this and being a single mom, working fulltime, and running my son around to all his activities.  I am not telling you all this for pity, but just so you can get to know a little about me.
Most of my life I have struggled with impulse control.  I used to get flashes of anger as a child and lash out mostly with words, but sometimes physically.  I honestly cant remember much of my child hood, I am not sure why, but my mind has blocked it out. I now have started to see impulse control issues in my son and it scares me.  It breaks my heart because I know he is a loving little boy and he instantly feels awful for what he has done, but isn't able to think before he acts. I fee like people who don't know him think he is a monster and he really is a very loving little boy.
I have him in counseling to see if we can help with his impulse control and give him an outlet for his anger.
I have tried so hard to be the best mama I can be and to raise a strong independent boy!  Its hard when I feel like I ruined him in a sense with all of my issues.  Knowing that I could have passed any of my mental illnesses down to him kills me inside. I have been trying to work on bettering myself for the past almost year now.  I have been reading personal development which has helped me so so much and I love every minute of it!  It really helps me stop and think about things and gives me a different perspective on life.