Introduction

I've decided I need an outlet.  I have so much going on in my head all the time I really just need to get it out so I am going to write it all down. Who knows maybe my babble can help someone some day.  Just a little about me.  I am 28 years old and a single mom.  I have a 6 year old boy who keeps me very busy.  He is in all kinds of sports, soccer, baseball, hockey, football, etc. So I am constantly on the go with not much time for myself.  Almost 6 years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar, anxiety, depression, and borderline personality disorder.  Its been a rough time trying to deal with all this and being a single mom, working fulltime, and running my son around to all his activities.  I am not telling you all this for pity, but just so you can get to know a little about me.
Most of my life I have struggled with impulse control.  I used to get flashes of anger as a child and lash out mostly with words, but sometimes physically.  I honestly cant remember much of my child hood, I am not sure why, but my mind has blocked it out. I now have started to see impulse control issues in my son and it scares me.  It breaks my heart because I know he is a loving little boy and he instantly feels awful for what he has done, but isn't able to think before he acts. I fee like people who don't know him think he is a monster and he really is a very loving little boy.
I have him in counseling to see if we can help with his impulse control and give him an outlet for his anger.
I have tried so hard to be the best mama I can be and to raise a strong independent boy!  Its hard when I feel like I ruined him in a sense with all of my issues.  Knowing that I could have passed any of my mental illnesses down to him kills me inside. I have been trying to work on bettering myself for the past almost year now.  I have been reading personal development which has helped me so so much and I love every minute of it!  It really helps me stop and think about things and gives me a different perspective on life.